Placeholders can last for weeks, months and even years.
Sometimes you’re with a guy for years, you break up and poof 6 months later there are wedding pictures on Facebook and him buying a house. You wonder if there was something wrong with you. Well no nothing is wrong with you. You were just the placeholder girl, the in-between, the I’m doing this until I find what I really want girl.
Signs you’re the Placeholder:
- They never really make future plans with you. They even avoid making short-term future plans and definitely run from the long-term ones.
- They are self-absorbed. They are just into themselves and their lives. If you meet your partner somewhere, or walk into a room or get into their car and their face doesn’t light up, or they don’t greet you. Placeholder! Run from this narcissist.
- You aren’t included. Yup, when you are with them and their friends you feel like the 3rd, 4th, 7th wheel or whatever. Even worse their friend makes more of an effort to make you feel comfortable and included.
- They are too busy for you. Hint you aren’t a priority. Seriously I have dated people running 2-3 companies, a sick mother and lives 27 miles away and they made time to see me and communicate with me. Don’t let anyone be too busy for you.
- They don’t talk to you about the real and serious issues in their life. Most things that are shared with you aren’t serious or that pertinent in their lives at all.
- You don’t feel integrated into their life. Your lives are totally separate. When it comes to integration this doesn’t always happen right away. But if you’re in a relationship with a person for a long time and you still feel like you have two entirely separate lives. You’re definitely a placeholder.